Posted by: rowenawilcox | March 6, 2010

Ten top uses for Twitter

Are you a Twitter-er but starting to get bored? Are you trying to work out what all the fuss is about? Are you afraid of being a Twitter bore?

Whatever category you fall into, @Tweet_Cardiff  has complied a list of possible uses for Twitter.

1. Stalking celebs, politicians and other high profile figures to get the daily scoop on their day-to-day rituals and then try and sell it to the Star.

2. Always wanted to keep a diary but fail miserably after the first three days? Use a 21st century substitute (aka Twitter) instead. The 140 character limitations mean you will not need to write pages and pages of matters from the heart so finding the time to update will be a breeze. It may be important to note, however, that this virtual diary doesn’t necessarily have a virtual padlock as even private profiles are accessible by followers you accept. So, when you write “I heart Johnny Malone” or “Carol in finance is a drunk”, there is a slight possibility these secrets will become gossip.

3. You can broadcast to the world (or your followers at least) that you had half a banana, a bowl of cornflakes with two heaped teaspoons of Candarel and a few sloshes of semi-skimmed and your third cup of triple strength coffee for breakfast.

4.Twitter makes travelling fun as you can swap stories you’ve encountered on the daily commute. Train tales are a personal favourite and you can almost guarantee you’ll have at least four status worthy comments to make on even the shortest journey.

5. Become the envy of your followers by living an excruciatingly lavish lifestyle. Recommended Tweets include: “Going to spend the weekend on our private yacht in St Tropez so I’ll be away from Twitter for a while, sorry”; “Stonkingly bad headache this morning…..Who knew David and Victoria could party so hard? Oh well…”; and “Just been on a killer spree in Selfridges. Good job my driver was waiting right outside. The staff took them all to the Rolls for me”.

6. Contact the many celebs as they urge you too in an abundance of Tweets on a daily basis. Don’t get too upset when they don’t Tweet you back as this seems to be the status quo.

7. Twitter can metamorphosize into Friends Reunited with a quick search in the ‘Find People’ tab. Top searches include old school friends, course mates from uni and work colleagues. If you are successful, be sure to send scrupulous amounts of @replies back and forth and magically transform the micro-blogging site into an MSN chatroom. Ta Da.

8. Become a rockstar: throw the TV out the window and stop paying the license fee and stay in the loop by catching up on the news via Twitter. You won’t have to endure tedious adverts (just the odd spam direct message and a handful of threatening viruses…that’s all) just the news as you want to read it.
[Note: @Tweet_Cardiff does not condone throwing TV sets out of windows it was just hypothetically speaking. Thank you].

9. Become a virtual cuckoo clock and come up with novel ideas of telling the time. Simply repeating “bong” five times if it’s five o’clock or twelve times if it’s twelve o’clock is not enough in these creative times. Yes, Big Ben, I’m looking at you.

10. ….You could even use Twitter to tell everyone: “What’s Happening?” Bet no one has thought of that one, eh?

Feel free to send us your own suggestions for things to do via Twitter. Email newsandthat@googlemail.com or send an @reply or direct message to @Tweet_Cardiff via Twitter.

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